About

An invitation.

For most kids growing up, they looked up to heroes like Serena Williams, Drew Brees, or Tiger Woods. They had posters on their bedroom wall, and they would emulate these individuals in every way on the court, field, or whatever the hell you play golf on.  (Is it “a course” or “the links”?!  For God's sake, pick one already and stick with it. You can't have both!!!)

However, for every Serena, Drew, & Tiger, there are the Anna Kournikova, Ryan Leaf, and John Dalys of the world. These athletes are the true champions of the average Joe, the anti-heroes, the people who often leave us scratching our heads, and saying, “how in the f*ck did they…I mean, seriously”. So, it is only natural and slightly human of us to get embittered with this notion of the unexceptional champ, as we all strive to achieve some preconceived level of greatness.  What we fail to recognize is that when mediocrity was thrust upon these individuals, they didn’t run from it; they fully embraced it and allowed it to be enmeshed in the very fabric of their being. They were also able to collect a pretty sick paycheck for their years of second-rate service. Well played.

So, where are we going with all this talk of sub-par radness? Well, we are excited to announce the formation of a new kind of cycling team comprised of a special group of mostly average athletes, and we would like to take this opportunity to extend an invitation to you to join us on this run-of-the-mill journey.

Do you just barely perform at a mediocre level? Then you just barely exemplify everything that we are looking for in potential teammates. The simple fact that you only possess the ability to capture KOM’s that you created (and subsequently set to private) makes you just the caliber of rider that we are looking for to join this team.

Awffle House Racing Team is looking to set new lows in 2020 and beyond, and it is our sincere belief that with this team we can DFL any event we enter and have an OK time while doing it. After all, mediocre cycling is a lifestyle, not a competition.

In closing, we will leave you with these words from Demetri Martin as you consider joining this rather uninspired band of misfits, “I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now, I am good at everything.”

Cheers,
Awffle House Race Team

P.S. Even if racing isn't your thing, show some support and buy some of our Awffle Gear... all proceeds benefit The Pablove Foundation (real heroes on and off the bike).